Many years ago, the myth began to circulate that if parents are unhappy, the kids are unhappy too. We now have an enormous amount of research on divorce and children, all pointing to the same truth: kids suffer when the parents split up. The reason behind these troubling statistics are the ongoing emotional trauma which seem simple but have a profound impact. Divorce introduces a massive change in the life of the child no matter what the age. Witnessing the loss of love between their parents, breaking the marriage commitment, adjusting back and forth between two households, and the daily absence of one parent while living with the other, creates a challenging environment for the new family to live in.
Divorce can be a difficult time for the family. Not only do the parents realize new ways of communicating with each other they also learn new ways to parent their children. When parents divorce, the effects of divorce on children can vary. Some children react to divorce in a natural and understanding way, while others may struggle with the transition. Children experiencing divorce vary in terms of temperament and age and thus its effect on them varies too.
Due to divorce children are more prone to distraction as a result of which they are not able to focus on their academics. They tend to have trouble in school if the divorce was unexpected. Children having divorced parents might indulge in risky behaviour like sexual activity and substance abuse. They drink alcohol, consume Marijuana, tobacco. Research has suggested that divorce can affect children socially as well. They may have a harder time relating to other children of their age and experience less social interaction. Divorce usually means children lose daily contact with one parent – more often their fathers. Decreased contact negatively affects the parent child bond. That means many children have to endure ongoing changes in their family dynamics. It may increase the risk of mental health problem in children and adolescents. Regardless of age, gender and culture, children of divorced parents experience increased psychological problems. Divorce may trigger an adjustment disorder in children which is higher than divorced parents. They also experience more externalizing problems, such as conduct disorder, delinquency and impulsive behaviour.
The aftermath of a divorce causes the child to become tense, nervous and anxious. Young children are more prone to it than the older ones since they are heavily dependent on both the parents. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, many children falsely consider themselves the reason behind their parents divorce and assume the responsibility to mend the relationship. This can lead to immense stress and pressure on the young mind, which has several repercussions like negative thoughts and nightmare. They suffer from mood swings and become irritable. Some children will go into a withdrawal mode, where they stop talking to anyone and shut themselves away, they preferring to spend time alone. Acute sadness rushes through the heart and the mind of the child, and he/she may eventually plunge into depression, which is a long-term manifestation. Things can get rough for a child who sees their parents bicker and separate. A child is at a greater risk of developing violent and antisocial behaviors when the parents divorce. He or she may lose temper at the drop of a hat and show no hesitation in assaulting someone and in the long run it may lead to the development of criminal mindset.
Despite the fact that divorce is tough for families, staying together solely for sake of children may not be the best option. Children who live in homes with a lot arguments, hostility and discontent may be at a higher risk of developing mental health issues and behaviour problems. Consequently, following a parental separation, it’s normal for kids to struggle with their feelings and behaviour immediately afterwards. Individual therapy may help the child to sort out their emotions. Some communities also offer support groups for kids in certain age groups to meet with other children who may be experiencing similar changes in family structure.
Priya Singh @samacharline